The man in my complex is writing “tickets” on napkins and putting them on windshields.

We have officially entered the era of civilian law enforcement. There is a man in my apartment complex who has appointed himself “parking lot mayor.” He does not work here. He does not own the property. He does not even pay on time (allegedly). But he walks around with a clipboard and a stack of napkins and writes things like: “VIOLATION: TOO CLOSE TO THE LINE. $25 FINE. PAYABLE IN CASHAPP.” I’m sorry—CASHAPP? He put one on my car because my tire was “giving disrespect.” I wish I was lying. Someone confronted him and he said “I’m maintaining order.” Maintaining order for WHO? The squirrels? If you see napkin citations on your car, do not pay. Take a picture, laugh, and consider moving.