They tried to upsell me a “limited edition” vape that smelled like a haunted blueberry.

I walked in for a basic disposable and walked out spiritually attacked. The guy behind the counter speaks in riddles. “You want something that hits… or something that HAUNTS?” He hands me a vape called “Midnight Orchard” and I swear it smelled like blueberry potpourri and unresolved trauma. Then he says, “This one is limited edition. Only 7 exist.” Sir it’s a vape, not a Fabergé egg. While I’m paying, someone in the back yells “DON’T OPEN THAT BOX.” I froze. The cashier didn’t even blink. Just kept scanning items like this is normal. I left with my receipt and a new fear of flavored air. If you go in there, do not let them convince you the vape has a personality. It does not need a backstory. It needs a refund policy.