My boss scheduled a “team bonding” meeting… to watch us explain our feelings in Excel.

I wish I was lying. I wish this was satire. Unfortunately, this is corporate reality. We get an invite: “TEAM SYNERGY SESSION.” No agenda. Just a calendar block and dread. We show up and he has a spreadsheet projected on the wall. Columns labeled: Mood, Energy Level, Accountability, Gratitude, and “What are you willing to improve?” He made us fill it out live. Like it was a performance review written by a robot that just learned emotions exist. Then he sorts the sheet by “Energy Level” and starts asking questions. “Why are you a 6 today?” Because you’re asking me that, sir. One coworker tried to put “N/A” and he said “N/A is not a mindset.” I’m not bonding with anybody. I’m surviving. If you work somewhere that treats human feelings like data points, just know: you’re not crazy. You’re just employed.