He treated the gym like church and me like a confession booth.

We went on one date and he brought pre-workout to the restaurant. To the restaurant. He started talking about “discipline” and “alpha mentality” while ordering chicken tenders. Then he asked my “body count” like he was a census worker. I told him my body count is “minding my business,” and he did not laugh. On the second date he said, “You’re lucky I’m choosing you.” Sir, you are wearing a tank top that says “NO EXCUSES” and you drove here with a check engine light on. If a man talks like a motivational poster, run.