My neighbor gives unsolicited TED Talks about everyone’s trash can like he’s the mayor of recycling.

We have a man who patrols the street on trash night and provides commentary. “Hmm… too many boxes. That tells me you’re impulsive.” Sir. That tells me Amazon exists. He once tapped on my bin lid like it was a car hood and said, “You’re not breaking down your cardboard. Interesting.” Then he tried to “educate” a teenager about “banana peels being a gateway to compost.” He’s not rude. He’s worse: he’s confident. If you see someone in sweatpants giving a sermon about trash, just nod like you learned something and keep walking.